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In Loving Memory: Ron Knope: January 29, 1970–September 4, 2004

What Ron Means to Me

I wrote the following while Ron and I were dating.

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Ron is caring, thoughtful, sweet, strong.....

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He wants to help me feel better when I am down. What's even better, he can express his caring. He's not afraid to talk about emotions and about our relationship.

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He wants to know my opinion and my preferences.

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He thinks I'm beautiful, sweet, and sexy.

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He's likes that I'm a strong woman--he's not intimidated by it, and he's not scared away by the baggage of my past. [...]

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He hates to see me cry.

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Daily he tells me things like: he misses me more each day, he wishes I were there with him, that I don't even know how much I mean to him.

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He wants to protect me from ever being hurt by anyone again.

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For example...His church, in doctrinal stance and in practice, is much like the warped churches I grew up in. He insists up and down that they're not like my past churches in attitudes and relationships. But because it triggers memories of my past, I ask a lot of questions like "When such-and-such happens, do the people react like [legalistic, judgemental, you name it]?"

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At the end of a recent conversation about that he said, "I want you to know something...You will always be welcome wherever I am, whether that's my house or my church or whatever. And no one's gonna treat you badly--or they'll have to answer to ME." Do I even have to tell you how much this blows me away? Not just that he wants to protect me...but that he sees the underlying emotional need under all the "stuff" I talk about!

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I tell you all of this not just to expound on my wonderful boyfriend (as much fun as that is ), but also to highlight the fact that there's a PERSON, and a fantastic one at that, inside that large body of his. And the fact that I have come to admire and care for that person.

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What bothers me the most about this whole anti-obesity bias is that I once had it. In fact, if I hadn't gotten to know Ron through online chatting and phone conversations before I saw a full-length shot of him, I might never have gotten to know him. Usually when I saw people of his size--without even realizing I was doing so--I focused on their weight to the exclusion of all else. And the thought of getting to know people who fit in that category never entered my head.

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And if that had happened in this case...I would have missed out on ALL of what Ron has meant to my life. I would have missed out on the best relationship with a man that I have ever had.

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But I'm happy to say that not only did it not happen, but...when he's being so sweet and telling me how attracted he is to me and all that, I am SO attracted to him, you wouldn't believe it.

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The bottom line.....I am SO grateful that God brought Ron into my life, and that He did so in such a way that I would accept Ron and be able to enjoy the benefits of a relationship with him.

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