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In Loving Memory: Ron Knope: January 29, 1970–September 4, 2004

What Ron Means to Me

I wrote the following while Ron and I were dating.

Ron is caring, thoughtful, sweet, strong.....

He wants to help me feel better when I am down. What's even better, he can express his caring. He's not afraid to talk about emotions and about our relationship.

He wants to know my opinion and my preferences.

He thinks I'm beautiful, sweet, and sexy.

He's likes that I'm a strong woman--he's not intimidated by it, and he's not scared away by the baggage of my past. [...]

He hates to see me cry.

Daily he tells me things like: he misses me more each day, he wishes I were there with him, that I don't even know how much I mean to him.

He wants to protect me from ever being hurt by anyone again.

For example...His church, in doctrinal stance and in practice, is much like the warped churches I grew up in. He insists up and down that they're not like my past churches in attitudes and relationships. But because it triggers memories of my past, I ask a lot of questions like "When such-and-such happens, do the people react like [legalistic, judgemental, you name it]?"

At the end of a recent conversation about that he said, "I want you to know something...You will always be welcome wherever I am, whether that's my house or my church or whatever. And no one's gonna treat you badly--or they'll have to answer to ME." Do I even have to tell you how much this blows me away? Not just that he wants to protect me...but that he sees the underlying emotional need under all the "stuff" I talk about!

I tell you all of this not just to expound on my wonderful boyfriend (as much fun as that is ), but also to highlight the fact that there's a PERSON, and a fantastic one at that, inside that large body of his. And the fact that I have come to admire and care for that person.

What bothers me the most about this whole anti-obesity bias is that I once had it. In fact, if I hadn't gotten to know Ron through online chatting and phone conversations before I saw a full-length shot of him, I might never have gotten to know him. Usually when I saw people of his size--without even realizing I was doing so--I focused on their weight to the exclusion of all else. And the thought of getting to know people who fit in that category never entered my head.

And if that had happened in this case...I would have missed out on ALL of what Ron has meant to my life. I would have missed out on the best relationship with a man that I have ever had.

But I'm happy to say that not only did it not happen, but...when he's being so sweet and telling me how attracted he is to me and all that, I am SO attracted to him, you wouldn't believe it.

The bottom line.....I am SO grateful that God brought Ron into my life, and that He did so in such a way that I would accept Ron and be able to enjoy the benefits of a relationship with him.

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